I Love Personal Revelation

     This was a fantastic week for me, I'm riding this spiritual high from the temple and things are going great. How could they not? I got In-N-Out and bought another stuffed duck along with an Oregon Ducks shirt.

      I'm also realizing just how much personal revelation that I've been getting through this. Looking back, wow, I can't believe how cool it is that Christ whispered to be through the Holy Ghost that I bring him more joy than the pain he took upon himself for me and I now realize how that's possible. During gospel scholarship they were talking to us and they said something fascinating. They told us that if we desire more joy our Heavenly Father will help us get it, but that we have to understand that in order to have the capacity to feel more joy we're going to have to experience pain and suffering (John 15). Wow. I'd never considered that because Christ experienced more pain than I can comprehend in the Garden of Gethsemane that he can now experience more joy than I can comprehend and knowing this has helped me appreciate the revelation I received previously. 

     The revelation recieved at the temple was also just so awesome. Since then, I've been riding a spiritual high that's been just the greatest. I've had a grand total of 0 suicidal thoughts and thoughts of physical harm since the temple. Obviously, I won't ride this forever and it's silly for me to think I'll never experience depression again, but also in the temple I asked what more I needed to do and the answer was simply to continue and be patient. 

     Something that's really cool about this episode of depression is I've learned so much through it and I'm sure as I continue to look back I'll continue to learn from it. In order to have more joy it takes some pain, but that doesn't mean that all pain leads to more joy. You have to look to learn and grow and try to do better. I've gone through several depression episodes and learned nothing because all I did was wait for it to pass.

     To top it all off, I reached out to a missionary who's now home because I felt like I needed to even though I haven't talked to him since July. As it turns out, he prayed the night before for comfort and my name popped in his head, so it was really interesting that I reached out. Apparently it was a prompting that I didn't recognize. It was also really cool/not cool because he told me about how much he's been struggling including telling me about how he's been having thoughts of harming himself. Super interesting because I now know exactly how he feels and because of that I can do and express what I found most helpful. An example with some advice, most people when I told them this expressed worry, which is good I appreciated knowing people cared, but what my mom did was actually more helpful. My mom every time I talked to her was not worried and that's because she had a level of confidence in me that I couldn't understand. It's kinda like when I was learning how to drive, my dad was really nervous, but my mom was not. She would be putting on makeup not at all paying attention to the road because she trusted me. Which one is more enjoyable to drive with? Mom, sorry dad. Same concept my mom's confidence gave me more confidence where my dad put me more on edge and put some doubt in my mind about my abilities. Obviously, some times it's basically impossible to not worry because you care enough about the person and I'm sure my mom did worry, at least a little, but she expressed confidence in me and it was really helpful to me and so I was able to do the same thing for the person I reached out to. 

     It's been the best week of my mission since I was with Elder Titus. I'm really truly doing wonderful and I'm amazed at how much I've learned recently and I'm starting to cherish the truths that I'm learning. I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ. I know that without the personal relationship that I've grown with them through reading the Book of Mormon things would've been a lot harder. I'm so grateful for their mercy and the joys of the gospel. 

               Yippee Ki Yay. The Book of Mormon is true, Elder Blacker